


Now I Want to Explain (I Will Never Fall in Love)

by GallifreyanFairytale



Series: Aromantic/Asexual fics [1]
Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Aromantic, Asexuality, Bisexuality, Coming Out, Gen, LGBTQ Themes, Not Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-01 20:04:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15150818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GallifreyanFairytale/pseuds/GallifreyanFairytale
Summary: Secrets are revealed after Abby rejects Martin at homecoming and Leah goes to look for her when she runs off.





	Now I Want to Explain (I Will Never Fall in Love)

Abby knew many of the boys in school had a crush on her; she wasn’t oblivious. Though at times, she kind of wished she was. That was one of the big reasons she liked Simon so much; he seemed to only view her as a friend. She could hug him, lean her head on his shoulder, grab his hand to drag him down the hallway, and Simon still didn’t have a crush on her. Or, at least he hid it well if he did.

 

Among the boys at school she knew had a crush on her was Martin Addison. He did have his moments, like when they were at Waffle House, but Abby just didn’t feel that way. And it wasn’t exactly specific towards Martin.

 

It was on the drive home from Waffle House when Simon came out as gay to Abby, and suddenly him not having a crush on her made a lot more sense. Abby almost told Simon her secret that night, but she was still too scared. She knew logically Simon _shouldn’t_ turn on her, but she’d seen too many people like her have to put up with crap even from gay people that she ended up not telling him.

 

Abby didn’t realize how big of a crush Martin had on her until the homecoming game, and by then, it was too late. She could have let him down gently when they were alone, and maybe even explained her situation so he’d be less hurt, but she’d been oblivious the _one_ time it would have been better if she hadn’t. Go figure.

 

Abby sighed deeply. Now was not the time nor the place that she wanted to do this, but did she really have a choice? She couldn’t disappear, she wasn’t invisible, and Martin was clearly not going to back down. So she forced herself to her feet and began to walk down the steps. She had to gather her thoughts for a moment after she stopped walking before she could say anything. Was she really doing this?

 

“I don’t feel that way about you,” she said softly.

 

She felt bad seeing Martin’s face fall as he stammered out a, “Y-You don’t?”

 

Abby shook her head. She couldn’t just leave him there, though, so she added. “I... I don’t feel that way about… anyone.” She bit her lip and looked at the ground. Martin didn’t respond, so she slowly turned around and walked away. She didn’t walk back to her seat; she couldn’t face her friends right now. Instead, she made a beeline for the bathroom.

 

\---

 

“Abby?” Leah called when she stepped into the bathroom. She heard a sniffle from one of the stalls, and then silence. Leah glanced around. No one else was in the bathroom besides her and the girl in the stall from which the noise had come. Leah walked over and knocked on the door lightly. “Abby, it’s me. ...Do you wanna talk about it?”

 

A muffled, _“No,”_ came from the other side of the door.

 

“Martin will get over you, I promise,” Leah said. She wasn’t leaving when Abby was clearly right _there_ and in need of a friend. “You don’t have to feel bad for not liking him back. You don’t owe anything to any guy who has a crush on you, no matter how nice they are. You can’t force yourself to be attracted to someone.”

 

Abby didn’t respond, but a few moments later, Leah heard the lock click and Abby slowly stepped out of the stall. Her eyes were red and her makeup had started to run down her cheeks. Leah knew Abby had always been the type of person who loved hugs no matter what, so Leah brought her into a hug. She heard Abby sniffle again as she hugged back.

 

“Let’s get you cleaned up a bit,” Leah said as she broke the hug. “I’ve got makeup wipes in my purse.” Leah began to dig through her purse, looking for her makeup wipes, which were probably at the bottom.

 

“Wait,” Abby said in a quiet voice. It wasn’t quite a whisper, but almost. “I-- I need to tell you something.”

 

Leah looked up.

 

“I…” Abby took a deep breath. “You know what I said to Martin?”

 

“About not liking him?”

 

“After that.”

 

“About not liking… anyone?”

 

Abby nodded.

 

“Well, that’s okay,” Leah assured her friend. “You’re in high school; you’ve got plenty of time to fall in love. You don’t have to have a crush on anyone right now.”

 

“I-It’s not just that, I…” Abby bit her lip. She was trying to figure out the best way to word what she wanted to say. “Have you ever heard of the term aromantic?”

 

Leah felt like someone had just injected ice into her veins. She _had_ heard of the term, yes, but how could she say that without practically outing herself? Straight people had a tendency to hardly know the term bisexual. “Yes?” Leah finally said, though it came out as more of a question. “It’s a… a lack of romantic attraction?”

 

“Yeah, well, um,” Abby looked down at her feet, “that’s me,” she finished in a whisper. She couldn’t bring herself to look up at Leah to see her reaction. “I’m aromantic and asexual.”

 

Leah wasn’t quite sure how to react. She was fine with it; she knew very well that you can’t just _change_ your sexuality, but she wanted to react in the way Abby wanted her to react. She reached out and placed a hand on Abby’s shoulder, causing Abby to look up.

 

“Abby, I love you no matter what your sexuality is. And… if it helps, I’m bi.”

 

Abby smiled and wiped a tear that had begun to roll down her cheek. “Is that why you knew the meaning of aromantic?” It was kind of funny, if Leah was bi, that meant Nick was the only straight one in their little group.

 

Leah nodded. “I did a lot of research on different sexualities when I was first questioning mine. I’ve known I was bi for a while now, but… my mom was the only one who knew before tonight.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah. But, I mean, you came out to me, and… that was really brave, ‘cause aromantic and asexual people seem to have a lot harder time coming out from what I’ve seen.”

 

Abby shrugged. “You’re the first person I’ve come out to. I mean, besides me basically announcing to the whole school that I’m not romantically attracted to anybody, but I’m not sure they all picked up on it.”

 

“I’m honored. Now, why don’t we get you cleaned up so we can go back out and Simon and Nick can stop worrying about us?”

 

\---

 

Nick and Simon had been awkwardly standing outside of the girls’ bathroom for a good twenty minutes before Leah and Abby finally walked out.

 

“Thank God,” Nick said. “I thought maybe one of you had drowned in the toilet and we were going to have to go in and help.”

 

Leah shot a glance at Nick that clearly said, _‘Not the time,’_ and he shut up immediately.

 

“Are you okay?” Simon asked Abby. She hadn’t said anything yet, and she was staring very intently at the ground.

 

“I have something I need to tell you both,” Abby said, her words getting a bit jumbled together because she was trying to talk too fast. She felt Leah squeeze her hand reassuringly, which gave Abby the courage to look up at Simon and Nick. “I’m aromantic. Meaning I don’t experience romantic attraction. Or sexual attraction, for that matter.”

 

Nick looked completely caught off guard, and it didn’t help when Leah followed Abby’s announcement with, “Also, I’m bisexual. Meaning I like girls and guys.”

 

That seemed to be what caught Simon off guard. He looked from Abby to Leah and then back to Abby. “I--” the words he wanted to say got caught in his throat.

 

“Is it too much at once?” Leah asked. She looked at Abby. “We should have come out separately. Straight people can have a hard time processing this stuff.”

 

“I’m not straight,” Simon said, sounding almost insulted that Leah had assumed that about him. When he realized what he had said, his hand shot up and covered his mouth. Nick, Abby, and Leah all looked at him. Abby already knew, of course, but she didn’t exactly know where else to look. She hadn’t expected Simon to come out like at, and judging by the look on Simon’s face, neither had he.

 

“Simon?” Leah prompted.

 

Slowly, he lowered his hand. “I, um… I’m kind of gay?”

 

“Kind of?”

 

“No, not kind of. I’m definitely gay,” Simon corrected.

 

Nick might as well have been hit in the head with a soccer ball considering how dazed he looked. “Does… does that make me the token Straight Friend?”

 

Abby couldn’t help it. She started laughing. She’d been so terrified of coming out to her friends, fearing they’d pull one of the classic anti-aromantic lines on her (something like, “You just haven’t met the right person yet.”), and instead, Leah and Simon had come out as well. She still wasn’t ready to come out to her parents, but at least she knew her friends would have her back. Simon and Leah began to laugh as well, and soon, all four of them were laughing uncontrollably, tears forming in the corners of their eyes.

 

Eventually, they decided to ditch the game and head to Waffle House. As they walked to Simon’s car, Leah put her arm around Abby. “I’m really glad you came out to me,” she said. “I feel like we all know each other even better now. I was afraid coming out would change everything, but… I think it just made it better.”

 

Abby grinned. “Me too. It’s nice having friends who know.”

  
And maybe soon, everything _would_ change. But for now, they were the same four friends heading to Waffle House as they had been before that night. And for now, that was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I know Abby isn't aro-ace, but when I was first reading the book, I headcanoned her as aro-ace, and after watching the movie, I got this idea, so I decided to write it because there's probably other people out there who will gladly read any fic about any character being ace.


End file.
